Imagine that you are watching a butterfly struggling to get out of its cocoon. Its wings are trying hard to part and shed its tight confines. Do you know that if you break the chrysalis to help make the exit easier, you will actually bring about the butterfly’s death? Breaking out of the cocoon is an incredibly important process. The struggle we see, as the butterfly works its wings as hard as it can to push away the chrysalis, is the butterfly’s hardest test. It is through this powerful work that it develops enough wing strength to fly. And the butterfly needs to be able to do this alone or it will lack the skills and strength to stay alive.
We don’t see it, but we are like butterflies… and when we think we know best how to navigate other people’s life lessons for them, we miss the point. When we intervene or try to help make those lessons easier, we can actually cost our loved ones their freedom to fly.
We can’t cheat on our life lessons. These tests are not about getting the answers right on the final exam. A life lesson is a chrysalis that binds us and causes us to struggle so that we can earn our wings. It is the struggle itself that helps us build the thought processes, skills and eventual powers as we grow our capabilities and master our internal strength.
If we try to do these things for people, we might be able to break their chrysalis open… but once free, our loved ones lack the ability and skill to fly solo. Their wings don’t work. They are completely dependant on us now, and the thing that would have made them independent and powerful in their own strength is gone. Each cocoon is a custom-made fit for a personal journey, and our loved ones might not get another chance to develop the skills they need for the next part of their life if we unintentionally destroy their human chrysalis.
So, the next time we are itching to get into someone’s business, we need to hold back our free advice and offer encouragement instead of direction. We can listen, believe in our person, and do what is asked of us… because asking for help is an important skill in itself. But we need to stop offering more help than we are asked for. We need to stop taking over, thinking we know best for others. Instead, we must encourage them to look inward… because only they know how to hook their set of wings up with their internals. When they come into their wings their own way, they have to know they earned them. That is what gives them lift and allows them to glide in peace.
We can’t use our wings to carry anyone else. It doesn’t work like that. But if we allow and emotionally support our loved ones to do their life their way, we get to witness their greatness as it grows. And if we are courageous enough in the darkness to embrace our own struggles, we will earn our wings and add beauty to the world too, as our own inner light begins to glow. 🙂
~Rebekah Antkow~
Greater Than We Know 
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